How Many People Are In Your Marriage?

Princess Diana famously complained that there were ‘three of us’ in her marriage and that it was ‘a bit crowded’. However, by modern standards, this total is quite conservative

Higher levels of divorce and the trend of settling down later make it almost inevitable that your new partner will have a past.

As a marital therapist, it isn’t unusual for me to work with couples who, between them, have been married six times. This might be the extreme end of the scale, but even couples in their mid-20s have had at least one serious previous relationship each.

Sometimes the impact of a former partner can be quite minor. ‘I lived with a girl who was spectacularly untidy. I often had to rinse out her tights in the morning before I could shave and brush my teeth,’ says 32-year-old Martin. Although his wife never met this woman, her ghost still stalks their marriage. ‘My wife was once too exhausted to do the dishes and I could see my life slipping back into chaos,’ Martin admits. ‘I totally lost it.’