The world understand-ably boggled when police announced they’d found, bobbing in the sea, enough cocaine to keep New Zealanders snorting or faffing about heating spoons for 30 years.
The question is, how do they know? The census doesn’t require residents to state how much coke they get through a year. Police may extrapolate data from convictions, but it’s unlikely gangs’ inventory spreadsheets are of great actuarial reliability.
Perhaps there are appropriate questions tacked onto those polls and focus groups that plumb for people’s views on politics and toothpaste? “How much smack/crack/whacky baccy do you consume in a month? Please rate the following dealers out of 10 for customer-facingness and rank the following common ratios of baking soda to hydrochloride salt for palatability.”
But would survey respondents be any more honest than they are with their GP – “Just a small sherry at Christmas”– or their dentist – “Flossing? It’s practically my hobby!”
Denne historien er fra February 25-March 3 2023-utgaven av New Zealand Listener.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ? Logg på
Denne historien er fra February 25-March 3 2023-utgaven av New Zealand Listener.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
First-world problem
Harrowing tales of migrants attempting to enter the US highlight the political failure to fully tackle the problem.
Applying intelligence to AI
I call it the 'Terminator Effect', based on the premise that thinking machines took over the world.
Nazism rears its head
Smirky Höcke, with his penchant for waving with a suspiciously straight elbow and an open palm, won't get to be boss of either state.
Staying ahead of the game
Will the brave new world of bipartisanship that seems to be on offer with an Infrastructure Commission come to fruition?
Grasping the nettle
Broccoli is horrible. It smells, when being cooked, like cat pee.
Hangry? Eat breakfast
People who don't break their fast first thing in the morning report the least life satisfaction.
Chemical reaction
Nitrates in processed meats are well known to cause harm, but consumed from plant sources, their effect is quite different.
Me and my guitar
Australian guitarist Karin Schaupp sticks to the familiar for her Dunedin concerts.
Time is on my side
Age does not weary some of our much-loved musicians but what keeps them on the road?
The kids are not alright
Nuanced account details how China's blessed generation has been replaced by one consumed by fear and hopelessness.
