The Seven Friends You Really Need

Research has revealed a third of us value friendships more than before the pandemic. But forget acquaintances on social media - when it comes to real life, quality is more important than quantity, says Monica Cafferky

- Monica Cafferky

THEY say you can count the number of real friends on one hand. And they are wise words in the Facebook era, when it's possible to have hundreds.

Robert Dunbar, a British anthropologist, famously said that most humans have 150 close contacts. However, the latest YouGov research shows that the average Brit has between one and five close friends. The survey also revealed a third of UK adults value friendships more than before the pandemic.

But what's the ideal number?

"The golden number is between three and seven," says Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy (shastanelson.com). "Research shows if you have this number you're 60 per cent more likely to feel happy." Shasta believes it's important to have a variety of friends too.

Here, she outlines the seven friendships we all need - and how to find them.

1 THE FREQUENT FRIEND

This is a person you see regularly at places you often visit, for example a parent at the school gates or a fellow dog walker. Their presence helps you to feel like you belong when you go somewhere in particular.

Find them: You're probably already saying hello but if not then start with a simple "hi" and get talking. Take it slowly, don't share too much personal information too soon. If you click, this acquaintance could blossom into something deeper.

But don't have high expectations either, your frequent friend may not be looking for another confidant.

2 THE INVITER