Five Bald Characters Agent 47 Could Beat (and Five He Couldn't)
GameOn Magazine|Issue 137 - March 2021
Brendan pits the famed assassin against his greatest adversaries.
Brendan Dick
Five Bald Characters Agent 47 Could Beat (and Five He Couldn't)

In the wake of Hitman 3’s release, Agent 47 has reclaimed his top spot in the rankings of follically challenged protagonists. While he is known for his perfectly smooth head, Agent 47 is far more than just an excellent candidate for a Lex Luthor cosplay. In fact, we just learned that he’s also a well-trained assassin.

At this point, baldness and a profound ability for violence are inextricably linked in videogames. Is our favorite sleek spy the ultimate manifestation of this trope? Maybe, but there are certainly other contenders to consider. Here are ten other bald characters that are vying for that title; five Agent 47 could beat, and five he wouldn’t stand a chance against.

Could: Bald Bull (Punch Out!!)

This one should be fairly simple for ol’ 47. Bald Bull is predictability incarnate. He’s got a flourishing move with his gloves and a cumbersome uppercut. Unless they are stuck in a boxing ring with 8 oz gloves, Agent 47 simply has too many tools at his disposal. He’s too smart and too conniving for a one-dimensional boxer to be a problem for him. Plus, if he loses to Bald Bull that implies that he would lose to Little Mac as well, and we can’t have that.

Couldn’t: Kirby (Kirby’s Dream Land)

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