KEEPING THE PEACE IN JUST CAUSE 4

Can’t everybody just get along?

- Luke Kemp

When your home is ruled with a ruthless dictator’s tightly-clenched iron fist, this is not an excuse to engage in needless violence. When evil rears its ugly head, you should always engage it in polite debate. That’s how the Nazis were defeated in World War II, after all. My Rico therefore is an odiously – er, admirably – determined centrist, on a quest to defuse conflict at every opportunity; and I think I’ve found the perfect way to do it.

One of the rebels tells me to raise an “army of chaos”. The idea is that the more trouble I cause across the island – handily tracked by a Chaos Meter at the top of the screen – the more people will rally to my cause. Traumatised by the needlessly violent intro mission however, I don’t want help from the sorts of horrid individuals that would be attracted by that behaviour. Instead, I’m on my way to find and collect the cow gun as peacefully as possible. Yes, cow gun. This is a gun that turns people into cows. And you know how many violent conflicts have been started by cows? Less than seven. Let’s do this.

A little research tells me that the cow gun is located in the Vaivenes region of the island. Opening up the map, it looks distressingly far from my starting point of Hanasacha. Nonetheless, I have a powerful grappling hook, a parachute, and a wingsuit. I’m confident of getting there relatively quickly, and in style. So off I go.