The Iron Fist Wears an Iron Glove in Age of Empires IV
PC Gamer US Edition|April 2022
Can a sledgehammer crack a nut? There’s only one way to find out.
By Ian Evenden
The Iron Fist Wears an Iron Glove in Age of Empires IV

Who bought PC Gamer issue 13? Hands up. The longer-lived among readers might remember the Warcraft: Orcs and Humans demo contained on one of its cover floppies. After two scenarios of jolly orc-bashing lifted from the game, the third and final (if I remember correctly, which it’s possible I don’t) level of the demo was a custom scenario (I hope) that gave you a human village surrounded by a ring of orcs, who would merrily chop their way through your tiny population and all its huts.

It was an unwinnable scenario, a Kobayashi Maru that, instead of teaching important lessons about not violating treaties and allowing examiners to observe how a commander reacts, merely demonstrates that any village or population is vulnerable to overwhelming force.

Which brings us to Age of Empires. I played a lot of this while pretending to study at university in the late 1990s, right in the middle of the RTS boom kicked off by Warcraft vs Command & Conquer. I’ve still got the books on Michel Foucault if anyone wants an essay, but I’ve also retained a weird preference for a custom skirmish game on Age of Empires II’s Narrows map. The beauty of Narrows is that enemy scouts won’t cross the deeper bits of water, so instead of building a wall around yourself you only need to place gates in strategically chosen places to seal off a surprisingly large area. Once your army is complete—a mailed fist composed of longbowmen, men at arms, and lots and lots of trebuchets—you open a gate and march out to destroy the AI’s city.

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