Welcome to grandparenting school

While grandparents are increasingly being drafted to help raise their children’s offspring, the rules are not always clear-cut. Dr Jane Williams, co-author of Grandparenting Grandchildren, reveals how to navigate some of the trickier aspects of the role.

- TIFFANY DUNK

When Dr Jane Williams was a young mum of two, she had her hands full. In addition to raising her kids she worked as a paediatric nurse, later taking on a role of research and communications manager for GymbaROO, a global program which helps parents and children master each early stage of development. “We used to get one or two grandparents a week,” she tells The Weekly. “Now we get two or three per class. More and more grandparents are becoming actively involved in their grandchildren’s lives. Childcare is more expensive, mortgages are bigger and so anything that grandparents can do to help is very welcome. Plus, grandparents are a lot fitter and healthier than they were in the old days, and more able to give some energetic attention to their grandchildren. The only people I see sitting back in rocking chairs are people like my own dad who is 95!”

But while they may have raised families of their own, changes in both modern-day life and new research mean that parenting – thus grandparenting – can look unfamiliar. And this can lead to arguments when differences of opinion arise. Having now become a grandmother herself, Dr Williams knows only too well how volatile that can become. Here, she outlines several key areas that grandparents need to approach with care, as well as others where learned experiences remain key.

First things first There are some pivotal conversations that need to be had before you take on active grandparenting duty. This way, you’ll rest assured that everybody is on the same page. You could start by asking these questions:

• What are my dos and don’ts?