It’s the first day of the school holidays and three-year-old Jake is playing dinosaurs in the fort he’s made in the garden with his beloved big sister, Zoe, now six. He stops roaring for a moment; his face lighting up as his dad arrives to join the game. With blue eyes like both his dad and sister, it’s hard to believe he isn’t genetically related to either of them. Nor is he related to Angie, even though she gave birth to him. His parents joke that despite any family resemblance, his white-blonde hair shining in the early spring sunlight is a reminder that he started life as a ‘snowflake’ – an adopted embryo.
Over tea and baby pictures, Angie explains that she gave up on the possibility of falling pregnant three years into their marriage after Mike was diagnosed with non-obstructive azoospermia – the complete and permanent absence of sperm. The couple, who chose not to use a sperm donor, took time to grieve their loss, trying to process what their lives would be like without children. Their long wait was agony for friends and family, who were understandably keen to ‘fix things’. At the time, they could not explain their hesitancy to act. Looking back, they now say they realise they had been waiting for Zoe.
They met her in late 2012, less than a year after making the decision to adopt and beginning their screening process. Zoe was five days old when they brought her home. For both Mike and Angie, the love they felt for her was instant. Even though adoption came with the tedium of paperwork, assessments and an indeterminate wait for a baby, the couple believe they were destined to raise Zoe and are fervent adoption advocates. So, although they were content with one child, they decided to embark on their second adoption process when Zoe was 15 months old.
Denne historien er fra November 2019-utgaven av Fairlady.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prÞveperiode pÄ Magzter GOLD for Ä fÄ tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent ?  Logg pÄ
Denne historien er fra November 2019-utgaven av Fairlady.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prÞveperiode pÄ Magzter GOLD for Ä fÄ tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg pÄ
'DESIRE IS NOT WHAT MATTERS'
Emily Nagoski wrote the book on women and desire - literally. And then her own sex life dried up. Here's what a prolonged sex drought (and a load of research) taught her about maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship.
'We have to tell HARD STORIES'
Theatre director and playwright Yaël Farber is spending time in South Africa after her critically acclaimed run of King Lear at the Almeida Theatre in London. We chatted to her about the importance of the pursuit of truth.
THE WHY, THE WHICH & the wardrobe
We really got into it this month! Read on for more on the allure of a loosey-goosey jumpsuit, vintage-hunting and jingle-jangling jewellery, the best places to find quality African design and short-girl styling tips.
LIFT your GAME
Thought weightlifting was just for bodybuilders and powerlifters? Not so. In fact, 'lifting heavy shit' may be the secret to longevity, hormone regulation and mood for women through perimenopause and beyond.
TREATMENT PLAN ON YOUR MARKS
Armed with a six-month programme from Dr Nerina Wilkinson + Associates, Jennifer Morin set about tackling her sun damage and melasma.
PLAYING YOUR CARDS RIGHT
Here's how to get the most out of loyalty cards.
BIG SKY Country
Namibia. Twelve friends, five vehicles, 4000 km, thirteen days. Eight punctures, one angle grinder. One martial eagle, one full moon, one ghost town. Plenty of top-quality braais, maybe not quite enough oysters... and the best time ever.
IS YOUR HOME MAKING YOU SICK?
Leaks, damp and poor ventilation in old or poorly built new homes are being fingered for a growing health concern: mould.
HOW TO REALLY GET TO KNOW SOMEONE
The Korean word 'nunchi' describes 'the ability to be sensitive to other people's moods and thoughts'. It's an underrated skill that we seem to have lost.
How to write a memoir
Whether you want to share your experiences and insights with the world, leave a legacy or track pivotal experiences for yourself, writing your memoir can be a grand and worthwhile adventure. Here's some advice on how and where to begin.