Nigella Dishes 'I Felt Exposed & Under Attack'

The Stressed Foodie Was Nourished By Her Family

They were the pictures that shocked the world – a terrified-looking Nigella Lawson being grabbed by the throat outside a London restaurant by her then-husband Charles Saatchi.

It’s been six years since those horrific images were published, but the beloved cook has felt the fallout ever since.

The result is a more reserved Nigella: one who usually turns down requests for personal interviews; one who guards fiercely her privacy and that of her children, Bruno and Cosima; and one who developed a fear of going out in public.

“It wasn’t just about being in the paper all the time,” she says. “It was generally about feeling exposed and under attack. In a way, it would have been much better for me to be able to speak openly. It goes against my nature not to. But I do think… everything I went through, then shame, then various things, in a way gave me a form of trauma of its own.”

But in a rare move, the self-proclaimed domestic goddess has spoken out about how she has managed to overcome her sadness and anxiety following her divorce from Charles – and it’s all to do with her daughter.

“I’ve been forced to be guarded,” she says. “I used to be more open and I like to think I will be again. Cosima said to me, ‘Mum, would you rather be a real person like you, or someone who has their hair and make-up done to go to the supermarket? It’s better to be a real person.’ She’s right.”

It’s an apt time for Nigella to be reflective. It’s been two decades since her first book, How to Eat, was released and next year she can look forward to celebrating her 60th birthday.