My aversion to kitten heels, twinsets and maxi skirts has nothing to do with style choices. Rather, my dislike of these clothes is rooted in memory association – they symbolise a toxic relationship I had in my early 20s with a jealous partner who policed my wardrobe.
During this time, sexy stilettos were outlawed, low-cut necklines were deemed scandalous and miniskirts were acceptable only on holiday, effectively verboten if I wasn’t near a beach.
By contrast, kitten heels, twinsets and maxi skirts were happily encouraged as conspicuously modest staples, and the ‘correct’ way for a woman to dress.
I wasn’t exactly forced to button up and swap my heels for flats, but I was made to feel that I was being disrespectful if I didn’t comply with my boyfriend’s suggestions.
I was young and easily led, but now that I’m older and at least a little bit wiser, I’m also more forgiving of my younger self. No woman should ever be made to feel that her personal style is engineered to attract an objectifying male gaze, and the concept of ‘restyling’ a woman should never be undertaken by a man under the pretext of concern when, in fact, it’s being used as a weapon against her.
Calling out abuse
Twenty years ago, there was far less discussion about emotional abuse and coercive control than there is today. After years of campaigning, a law against coercive and controlling behaviour was finally introduced in 2015, and by March 2020, police in England and Wales had recorded 24,856 offences.
Denne historien er fra January 31, 2022-utgaven av WOMAN - UK.
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Denne historien er fra January 31, 2022-utgaven av WOMAN - UK.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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EAT WELL (even on a budget) - Easy meals that make the most of your store cupboard, and won't break the bank
Courgette and pesto pasta
The CATCH
The house was perfect - so why was it so cheap?
Elizabeth and THE RAIN
She had made Lisa's life a misery- and now she was back
I won't stop taking my daughter out of school... - TO GO TO THE BEACH!
One mum tells us why fun, spontaneous days are sometimes more important than being in the classroom
Where's the JUSTICE?
Catherine Wardle's son died over a senseless Snapchat spat
Fat-shamed BY MY MUM
Gemma Hall, 28, showed off her snaps and got a dose of tough love
Fighting for SURVIVAL
When Danielle Camilleri collapsed at 40, the diagnosis was devastating
Finding love AFTER LOSS
As Kelsey Parker moves on after losing her husband Tom, we investigate how difficult it is to find love again in widowhood
Phil's revenge
Phillip Schofield is back on our screens after a 16-month hiatus and it seems it's all-out war between the former presenter and ITV.
'I'm too scared TO HAVE SURGERY'
Christine Lampard on gratitude, staying in shape and date nights with husband Frank.