What FATHERHOOD Taught Me

THE DAD OF FOUR REFLECTS ON HIS OWN UPBRINGING AND THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF RAISING HIS CHILDREN

He tried to do things differently than his own parents did, but Tom Hanks admits, "I made every mistake. You know, you scar the kids somehow in the same exact way." At 68, this Oscar-winning father of four and grandfather of three can take a measured look at his family life. "Somewhere along the line, I figured out the only thing a parent can do is say, 'I love you, there's nothing you can do wrong, you cannot hurt my feelings, I hope you will forgive me on occasion, and what do you need me to do?"" he says. "You offer up that to them: 'I will do anything I can possibly do in order to keep you safe.' That's it. Offer that up and then just love them."

Tom became a dad at 21. He admits his own childhood didn't give him great examples of what to do.

After his parents' divorce, Tom and his four siblings lived with his father, who worked long hours in a restaurant. "No one told me how to brush my teeth," says Tom.