I let myself into the house and make my way to the bedroom, where he is lying on the bed. After a lifetime of independence, this man doesn’t want strangers coming into his home to nurse him through the final stages of his cancer. I touch his shoulder and he opens his eyes, a little smile flickering across his face.
He says to me, “I’m dying.”
I reply, “Yes, you are.”
The man takes great comfort in someone acknowledging his reality.
He goes on to die in hospital and I am with him all the way, until his last breath. That’s all he wanted, a companion on that last journey.
And as a death doula, that is my job – providing spiritual and emotional support for a dying person and their loved ones. I’m different from end-of-life support workers, as I can give continuity of care, unlimited time and get to know my clients closely.
The word doula means a trained companion and most people associate them with birth. But this kind of support can be just as important at the end of life.
My clients usually have a terminal diagnosis or simply don’t have long left due to old age. I’ve also worked with parents whose children are dying and people bereaved in unexpected, tragic circumstances, like murder or suicide.
I believe I was destined to do this job. My choice of career was sealed when my dad died from leukaemia five months after his diagnosis, when I was 14. I was with him at the hospital just after he died.
I sat on his bed, touched his face and sang one of my favourite songs, No Need To Argue by The Cranberries, which includes the line, “I knew that I would lose you.”
Denne historien er fra January 30, 2023-utgaven av New UK.
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Denne historien er fra January 30, 2023-utgaven av New UK.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
Allerede abonnent? Logg på
A STICKY SITUATION
Actors Chris Diamantopoulos and Guillaume Cyr bond with Margo Martindale and get beaten up by Jamie Lee Curtis in a riotous new comedy drama series
THIS IS CHRISTMAS ACTUALLY
Love Actually writer and director Richard Curtis gifts the world a new festive film this year
LEARN HOW TO PLEASE YOURSELF
The festive season can be an incredibly stressful time, particularly for peoplepleasers who struggle to put their own needs first
Caught on dashcam injecting her ex with fatal dose of 'poison"
Amanda Hovanec enlisted her lover and her mother in her cold-blooded plot
'I looked better getting married at 53 than I did at 23!'
Wellbeing coach Sarah-Jane Clark, from Swindon, shares how she achieved her dream of wearing a size 10 wedding dress after losing 12st
'I am so looking forward to Christmas'
Helen Flanagan shares her plans for the holidays with her new boyfriend Robbie Talbot and her kids
I'm turning the anger into positive energy
His best friend's death has made Gok Wan rethink life
‘I'm careful with who I allow in my inner circle
Actress and presenter Kéllé Bryan on managing fame and fronting a new fashion initiative
'There were rats..it is a real jungle
Marvin Humes on his I'm A Celebrity experience, backing his buddies and the importance of kindness
'It's not going to be sexy Maura on I'm A Celeb'
Model Caprice Bourret tells new about her festive traditions and starring in and producing a Christmas film