HAVE you ever found yourself struggling in a relationship and wondered what it is you're missing? Perhaps the same argument keeps rearing its head, but you keep going in circles and don't seem to get any closer to a resolution.
According to UK psychotherapist Emma Reed Turrell, this habit of repeating the same "mistakes" or behaviours is often thanks to a gap in our psychological awareness that clouds our judgement, otherwise known as our "emotional blind spot." "You might feel you're constantly being pushed over in your friendships, or perhaps you're frustrated in your job because you feel nobody is listening to you either of these issues can alert us to a blind spot around power," explains Turrell.
"Or perhaps the problems in your relationship stem from a reluctance to ask for help - this could point to a blind spot around vulnerability.
"Many of us have had a conversation with a friend or relative that has hit a nerve, but we can't quite figure out why it's bothered us.
"Often, the root of this pain and confusion lies in a blind spot.
In her new book, What Am I Missing?, Turrell suggests that to identify your blind spot you must first understand which one of four types you are: Rock, Gladiator, Hustler or Bridge? Turrell identified these types, or profiles, over the course of her 15 years as a therapist, and each type exhibits certain thoughts and behaviours.
It's possible your behaviours fit neatly into one profile, but in the various areas of our life-work, family, friendships and romantic relationships - different profiles can feel appropriate.
Once you've recognised your type, Turrell says you'll also recognise your "primary" blind spot, which could feel like a light-bulb moment and allow you to see yourself more clearly.
You can then start to behave in a way that's more intentional, productive and fulfilling, she says.
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Denne historien er fra 1 August 2024-utgaven av YOU South Africa.
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