Didn't do it for the 'gram

Am I marrying for love or for social media? When she found herself spiralling before the big day, SHRADHA SHAHANI had to ask herself the hard question

- SHRADHA SHAHANI

It was love at first sight. Not my love for my husband. That developed slowly over four years. I am talking about my wedding venue. The sea-facing lawn was unlike any location I had seen in Mumbai. The afternoon I visited for a recce, the sun dusted the Arabian Sea with gold and the grass shone an emerald green. "We need to start the ceremony early. It will photograph beautifully before the sun sets,"I gushed.

On the day, my husband walked into the mandap over an hour late. His kind (read: inconsiderate) groomsmen had stolen the keys to the buggy he was meant to arrive in. When our pheras finally began, an inky sky had wiped out my dream of an Instagram-perfect wedding. This could have been the beginning of our post-wedding we-never-got-goodphotos quarrel, but deep inner work saved me from falling into that dark vortex of external validation fuelled by social media.

I am not an influencer, and I didn't expect the day to become my claim to fame. I also hadn't grown up with a starry-eyed picture of a big wedding. The day was always meant to be an emotional and intimate rite of passage shared with close family and friends. Yet, social media had warped the meaning of marriage for me in many ways.