Calming DOWN

Fight, flight, flee or fawn—or better yet, keep calm and carry on. Experts share the art of calming down and remaining relatively unhinged when triggered.

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Some of us go through life like ducks—unruffled on the surface yet paddling furiously underneath. Others are easily triggered at seemingly inane things: slow walkers, loud chewers, people who call instead of text. The definition of calm, being tranquil or at peace, can be an elusive concept for those who are anything but. If you’re naturally high-strung or operate in a demanding or performance-driven environment, the very idea of finding and being calm can be agitating.

Cortisol, one of the body’s most important steroid hormones, is our in-built alarm system that’s triggered by stress. It helps to activate a flight or fight response, which sends a cascade of reactions through our bodies to protect us. However, prolonged exposure to stress and threats to our safety, both real or perceived, can wreak havoc on our bodies. According to Dr Robin Berzin, founder and CEO of Parsley Health in New York, it can seem like your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between a work deadline and a deadly predator. “You’re not running from a lion, you’re running from your inbox,” she says.

Failing to use our stress hormones constructively means this automatic influx of cortisol, adrenaline and all things anticalm work against us, explains Stephanie Leong, somatic depth therapist and founder of Soma Psyche Alchemy. Habitually stressing about career and relationships “without sufficient resources such as time, finances or support” mean that we often wind up “suppressing feelings from these stress hormones and as a result, this state of hyperarousal remains inside us”.

If your cortisol response is hyper-activated, resulting in feeling constantly ‘wired and tired’, it’s time to find a new baseline.