Force Of Habit

From over-worrying to over-shopping, your impulses might hold you back more than you think. Cycle-breaking insights, ahead.

-  LYDIA WANG

SOMETIME DURING CHILDHOOD, WRITER LYDIA WANG DEVELOPED A SEEMINGLY UNBREAKABLE HABIT OF TWIRLING HER HAIR AND PICKING AT SPLIT ENDS. It happened mostly during moments of stress, anxiety and inactivity, and she always wanted to quit. The habit followed her to high school – she can viscerally remember the shame she felt when a teacher mimicked her in front of her classmates. But compared with other tendencies and coping mechanisms she’s worked to overcome, playing with her hair just never felt “bad” enough to put much effort into quitting.

The older she gets, though, the more determined she is to kick this specific habit. “I feel more confident in social and professional settings when I abstain from hair touching,” explains Lydia. “I’m even convinced I sound more composed on calls when I pull my hair back (though the person on the other end doesn’t know any better)”. Overall, she’s made progress, but it seems ironic that a habit that was easy to pick up as a kid remains difficult to kick as an adult. “Shouldn’t I have outgrown this, like I did snarky graphic tees?” Lydia asks.

Halting a habit, even a menial one, is hard because you often don’t realise you’re doing it until you’ve completed the behaviour, says Dr Wendy Wood, provost professor of psychology and business and author of Good Habits, Bad Habits: The Science of Making Positive Changes That Stick. Take typing in your email password as soon as you log on to your work laptop, for example. Your habit of checking your email each morning means you automatically do it, regardless of whether you actually want to look at your inbox.