HEALING TOGETHER AS A COMMUNITY

On the oft-lonely journey to recover from the trauma of sexual violence, some women are finding strength in numbers.

- Lin Yanqin

After Jo* survived a brutal rape in 2021, she did something unpredictable, and perhaps even shocking: She began seeking out sexual encounters to re-enact what had happened to her.

“It was self-sabotage“, says Jo, 26, a student. “It was like, maybe if I consent to it this time, it will change what happened to me.”

It was also a type of response that people who have not experienced similar trauma would struggle to understand – a pattern of behaviour known as repetition compulsion, where a person seeks to re-enact a traumatic memory to regain a sense of control.

Then, earlier this year, Jo found herself in a room full of people who not only understood exactly what she was going through, but had also responded to their trauma in a similar way.

The women were all there for the same reason: They’re part of a support group for women who had survived sexual violence, who meet monthly during sessions facilitated by Dr Sara Delia Menon, a clinical psychologist at Alliance Counselling.

Generally, sexual violence or misconduct refers to sexual acts done by force, intimidation or manipulation, without the victim’s consent. These include unwanted touches, penetration without consent, harassment, unwanted text or social media messages, and voyeurism.

Jo had found the group in a desperate bid to come to terms with what happened to her. Therapy was helping, but only to a certain extent, while her friends and family were at a loss as to how to show support. “Everyone thinks what happened was just a one-time thing. But I’m stuck in this moment of assault forever,” she says.