Goodbye to the GOOD GIRL

Let's stop making ourselves smaller to stay safe, and learn to access our latent female power, urges Joanna Ziobronowicz

- Joanna Ziobronowicz

Good girl conditioning is something that comes up a lot in various cultures. Societal pressure for women to act in a certain way isn't yet a thing of the past, even though some would like to believe that it is. In many traditional households, women still fall into the role of quiet, abiding conformists. It is usually through the university of life that we discover that this type of conditioning is not conducive to creating clear and healthy boundaries in the modern world. The behaviours of good girl conditioning are internalised from a young age. It is a collective insistence upon women that they please other people, at the cost of their own wellbeing. It's the moulding of a female into behavioural patterns which are deemed appropriate. Clinical psychologist and author, Dr Nicole LePera, explains that good girl conditioning is messaging we receive, beginning in childhood, to be agreeable, polite and nice. To 'never show our anger, to allow people to violate our boundaries and to hide our own needs to please others. Young girls who take on these traits are rewarded in families as well as society."