Earlier this year, Cherry Healey invited her Instagram followers to share their stories about dating in their forties. She didn't really know what to expect in response, but it turned out to be a subject that struck quite a chord.
The hundreds of replies she received from women - all navigating the complexities of looking for love at 40-plus - were thoughtful, witty, wise and heart-achingly honest, which confirmed to Healey, 42, something she already knew.
'Women in their 40s and 50s are just amazing, and truly magical,' she says. 'I learned so much from their responses, and I'm endlessly honoured that people take the time to write to me.
'I love being in my 40s; it's my favourite decade so far, by such a long way. I feel like I'm at the top of the mountain, and because I've had enough life to see how my actions have played out, I have wisdom based on experience. Not from an Instagram meme or something I've read in a book, but actual lived experience, which is always the most powerful.
'I can look back on those decades and really start to know who I am, yet I still have a big chunk of life ahead of me and, within reason, I can decide on how the rest of it is going to be. It's very empowering when you realise how much control you have on what's going on around you.'
Nevertheless, dating can be a minefield, especially if you've been out of the loop for some time and are returning to a game you no longer recognise. Hence that social media post. Recently single Healey is getting to grips with it all over again herself, after her six-year relationship with advertising executive Carl Kisseih ended last year.
Helpfully, one of the by-products of the lived experience she refers to is a 'razor sharp' intuition, and Healey doesn't bother wasting any time with anyone she reckons is going to give her the runaround. She also works hard to protect herself from the brutality' of modern-day dating.
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Denne historien er fra April 2023-utgaven av Psychologies UK.
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