I’m walking around the house with a severe limp and actively second guessing every decision I’ve ever made. That can only mean one thing: I just ran my one race for the year.
For the second time in a row, my 13-year-old, Betsy, accompanied me on this foolish endeavor because the best mistakes are made in tandem. We both went into the 11-km course with no training, and it showed. Determination and a can-do attitude are no match for gravity and distance.
As an extremely sedentary person, it’s important for me to occasionally do something semi-athletic to remember that it’s much better to not move. I’m greatly envious of those coral reef creatures that sit in one spot their entire life while plankton filters through their mouth holes. I’m out here working for my food while the ocean basically has free DoorDash 24/7. It was a mistake for mankind to give up gills.
Betsy and I were accompanied to the race by a group of three extremely in-shape people. You wouldn’t think that such individuals would want to associate with me, but we all live in the same Indianapolis suburb.
I lift weights because it’s the form of exercise that requires me to move the least. I can literally do it while sitting down. These guys bike and run countless kilometres, often in the same day. One has done dozens of Spartan Races, which are gruelling obstacle courses that require you to crawl through mud, flip tires and throw spears. Another is training for a triathlon. He’s the worst because in addition to being faster than me on foot, in the water and on wheels, he can also outlift me.
Denne historien er fra July 2024-utgaven av Reader's Digest India.
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Denne historien er fra July 2024-utgaven av Reader's Digest India.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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Calendar Girls
After Molly Baker’s husband died suddenly, her friends organized a year’s worth of support
THE GREAT WILDEBEEST MIGRATION
It's a spectacular sight when countless ruminants cross the Serengeti in search of greener pastures
Soumitra Chatterjee's Tryst with Destiny
The encounter that led a budding actor to a legendary filmmaker, and sparked an iconic creative partnership during the golden age of Bengali cinema
Frozen in Time
The life and work of Vittorio Sella, a pioneer of early mountain photography and the man behind some of the very first images of the Himalayas
HALLUCINATIONS
There was a monkey perched on the IV drip stand to the right of my hospital bed. It scowled at me, but I wasn’t afraid: A brief simian visit was part of my daily routine. I never questioned why there was a monkey in the hospital. I wasn’t lucid enough to recognize that my mind was playing tricks on me.
Music in the Air
Cuba is bursting with sound, and each region moves to its own defining rhythm
SHOULD YOU TRY A DETOX TREATMENT?
It's a popular new-year health habit. But science doesn't support it
Ringing True
He thought his late parents' wedding bands were gone forever
14,000-FOOT MIRACLE
The skydiver fully expected to die when her parachute failed to open. Instead, she's writing the next chapter of her life
I SURVIVED!
THREE UNUSUAL MEDICAL EMERGENCIES, AS TOLD BY THE PEOPLE WHO NEARLY DIED FROM THEM
