THERE'S A FINE between educating someone on a subject and being an overbearing bore. I trampled that line a long time ago.
Just the other day, my wife and I were discussing how painful childbirth is.
Scratch that. I was discussing how painful childbirth is; the person who actually gave birth to a child was rolling her eyes.
“I [that would be me] would have to say the pain is akin to the sensation of having your insides ripped apart by two gerbils fighting over a lettuce leaf. That, or watching an eight-year-old trying to tell a joke. But even those examples don’t capture the agony.”
Jennifer rolled her eyes in the direction of the TV remote and picked it up.
“The thing I can best compare it to is the time …”
She turned on Netflix, found Shogun and fast-forwarded to a samurai fight scene.
“… my brand-new sneakers chafed my corns …”
She raised the volume to 62.
“Yes, that’s the closest comparison I can make to childbirth …”
To 77.
“You see … YOU SEE, CHILDBIRTH— MUCH LIKE CHAFED CORNS …”
She hit mute.
“… IS VERY PAIN … ful.”
“I have a suggestion,” she said, in a voice that led me to believe this was no mere suggestion, but an order to be carried out immediately.
“Why don’t you write an article about mansplaining?”
“Did you know that mansplaining is a portmanteau of man and explaining and describes the act in which a man provides a condescending explanation of something to a woman who already understands it?”
“Yes.”
“Well, did you know this? Women such as yourself don’t much care for mansplaining.”
I had no idea the volume on our TV could reach 147.
Mansplaining is not new. It’s been around since the first caveman told the first cavewoman how to braise a sabre-toothed tiger. She responded with a polite nod, then proceeded to cook the beast the way Mama Neanderthal had taught her.
Denne historien er fra November, 2024-utgaven av Reader's Digest India.
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Denne historien er fra November, 2024-utgaven av Reader's Digest India.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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STUDIO - Off Lamington Road by Gieve Patel
Oil on Canvas, 54 x 88 in
NEWS FROM THE WORLD OF MEDICINE
FOODS THAT FIGHT DEMENTIA
TO HELL AND BACK
The Darvaza crater in Turkmenistan is known as the Gates of Hell. I stood on its edge - and lived to tell the tale
THE SNAKE CHARMERS
Invasive Burmese pythons are squeezing the life out of Florida's vast Everglades. An unlikely sisterhood is taking them on
Sisterhood to Last a Lifetime
These college pals teach a master class in how to maintain a friendship for 50-plus years
...TO DIE ON A HOCKEY RINK
ONE MINUTE I WAS PLAYING IN MY BEER LEAGUE, THE NEXT I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL
Just Sit Tight
Broken, battered and trapped in a ravine for days, I desperate driver wonders, \"Will anyone find me?\"
Allow Me to Mansplain...
If there's one thing we know, it's this: We're a nation of know-it-alls
THE BITTER TRUTH ABOUT SUGAR (AND SUGAR SUBSTITUTES!)
It's no secret that we have a serious addiction. Here's how to cut back on the sweet stuff, once and for all.
A Baker's Dozen Facts About Eggs
1 EGGS ARE perhaps the most vital life force. More than 99 per cent of animal species reproduce via oviparity (egg laying), with mammals being the notable outliers. And even then, there are two striking exceptions: the echidna (spiny anteater) and the platypus, the only mammals that lay eggs.
