It’s true that I commence with an “oomph” as I move to an upright position, then an “ahhh” as I swing my legs off the bed, followed by an “arrrrrrrgh” as I get to my feet.
Then there’s an “oh God” as I realize that my knees are, once more, unequal to the task they’ve been set.
Jocasta believes in positive thinking. “All this complaining will simply make you feel worse,” my wife says. “If you act like a young gazelle, leaping across the savannah first thing in the morning, then you’ll feel like a young gazelle. It really is that simple.”
I’m guessing Jocasta doesn’t know many young gazelles, at least not ones with aching knees, tired ankles, and a belly that can only be described as ‘third trimester’.
I decide to annoy her in the time-honoured manner of husbands everywhere. I will follow her instructions, but to the power of 10. If she wants positive thinking, she’ll get positive thinking.
The curtains are first. I fling them open, allowing sunlight to flood the room. “What a beautiful morning!” I say in a too-cheerful voice. “The sun in all its majesty is commanding its troops to get going! Why the frown, darling? Why the blinking against the glorious light?”
Jocasta sighs. “Just make a cup of tea, will you?”
I turn on the kettle, then pop my head back through the door.
Denne historien er fra February 2023-utgaven av Reader's Digest India.
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Denne historien er fra February 2023-utgaven av Reader's Digest India.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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Calendar Girls
After Molly Baker’s husband died suddenly, her friends organized a year’s worth of support
THE GREAT WILDEBEEST MIGRATION
It's a spectacular sight when countless ruminants cross the Serengeti in search of greener pastures
Soumitra Chatterjee's Tryst with Destiny
The encounter that led a budding actor to a legendary filmmaker, and sparked an iconic creative partnership during the golden age of Bengali cinema
Frozen in Time
The life and work of Vittorio Sella, a pioneer of early mountain photography and the man behind some of the very first images of the Himalayas
HALLUCINATIONS
There was a monkey perched on the IV drip stand to the right of my hospital bed. It scowled at me, but I wasn’t afraid: A brief simian visit was part of my daily routine. I never questioned why there was a monkey in the hospital. I wasn’t lucid enough to recognize that my mind was playing tricks on me.
Music in the Air
Cuba is bursting with sound, and each region moves to its own defining rhythm
SHOULD YOU TRY A DETOX TREATMENT?
It's a popular new-year health habit. But science doesn't support it
Ringing True
He thought his late parents' wedding bands were gone forever
14,000-FOOT MIRACLE
The skydiver fully expected to die when her parachute failed to open. Instead, she's writing the next chapter of her life
I SURVIVED!
THREE UNUSUAL MEDICAL EMERGENCIES, AS TOLD BY THE PEOPLE WHO NEARLY DIED FROM THEM
