Can Cheating Ever Improve A Relationship?

Of all the sins you could commit in a relationship, cheating is seen as one of the worst. But could it also trigger a chance for a reset, which brings both partners closer together?

- Monica Karpinski

To most Brits—80 per cent of women and 64 per cent of men—cheating is unacceptable, per a 2019 BBC survey. One in ten UK marriages ends due to infidelity.

It’s not hard to see why. Cheating causes breakage: of trust and commitment, and perhaps our grand plans for what our life with that person could look like. However, it also forces pent-up feelings out into the open. Could this ever be a wake-up call to what needs fixing between two people?

I believe that it’s possible. But for a couple to emerge stronger from the wreckage, there needs to be an understanding that infidelity is nuanced—and, dare I say, a degree of compassion.

We see cheating as so repulsive that we tend to frame it in binary terms: there’s wrong and right, a villain and a victim. Not all situations are so clear-cut.