Hello. Are you still there? Of course you are. We're all still here, stuck in this locked airless room with the stopped clock.
By the time you read this, somebody might have unlocked the door and fixed the clock. We may have a government. Or we may not. Who knows? If anybody does know, they're staying schtum.
Even Act leader David Seymour, whose lips usually flap faster than a ventriloquist's dummy - which, come to think of it, he rather resembles appears to have sealed his own mouth with Super Glue. He has even forfeited having (yet another) swipe at New Zealand First leader Winston Peters. And there was one for the having.
After a day of evidence at the coronial inquest into the 2019 terrorist massacre of 51 people at Christchurch mosques, Peters posted a tweet stating the office of then prime minister Jacinda Ardern received an email of the terrorist's manifesto minutes before the killings started and that she failed to share this information with the public and with him. It took no time at all to establish, complete with TV footage, that Ardern had told the public about the email two days after the shootings.
Therein lay the opportunity, a nice juicy opportunity, for Seymour to unleash his inner chihuahua to take out the seat of Peters' pinstriped suit. Ruff, ruff. Instead, nothing.
That glue Seymour used to keep his trap shut must be industrial strength because he and Peters have a long history of trash-talking each other. Seymour has called Peters a clown and a "charismatic crook". Peters has called Seymour a politcal cuckold. And so grown-uply on.
Maybe Seymour's dead. We know Peters certainly isn't. He will never die. He's the undead, as the election results proved. Peters, like Jesus before him, has risen again. As he foretold.
Denne historien er fra November 11 - 17, 2023-utgaven av New Zealand Listener.
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Denne historien er fra November 11 - 17, 2023-utgaven av New Zealand Listener.
Start din 7-dagers gratis prøveperiode på Magzter GOLD for å få tilgang til tusenvis av utvalgte premiumhistorier og 9000+ magasiner og aviser.
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First-world problem
Harrowing tales of migrants attempting to enter the US highlight the political failure to fully tackle the problem.
Applying intelligence to AI
I call it the 'Terminator Effect', based on the premise that thinking machines took over the world.
Nazism rears its head
Smirky Höcke, with his penchant for waving with a suspiciously straight elbow and an open palm, won't get to be boss of either state.
Staying ahead of the game
Will the brave new world of bipartisanship that seems to be on offer with an Infrastructure Commission come to fruition?
Grasping the nettle
Broccoli is horrible. It smells, when being cooked, like cat pee.
Hangry? Eat breakfast
People who don't break their fast first thing in the morning report the least life satisfaction.
Chemical reaction
Nitrates in processed meats are well known to cause harm, but consumed from plant sources, their effect is quite different.
Me and my guitar
Australian guitarist Karin Schaupp sticks to the familiar for her Dunedin concerts.
Time is on my side
Age does not weary some of our much-loved musicians but what keeps them on the road?
The kids are not alright
Nuanced account details how China's blessed generation has been replaced by one consumed by fear and hopelessness.