Time to Reboot

How ready are we as a society to offer adolescents, especially boys, room to explore their authentic selves?

- Lakshmi Narasimhan Aishwariya Ramesh

A few years ago, my daughter and I jointly discovered Andrew Tate and his supremacist masculinity verbiage after a casual remark during mixed-gender football play. We did not think much of it then, as we were homeschooling and perhaps shielded from contact and most day-to-day occurrences within such sub-cultures. However, last year, my daughter returned from school in a complete rage. Some of the boys in her class had put forth ideas of how science supposedly proves men’s superiority over women in various domains during a discussion. It was the first of many such incidents that she had to confront, both inside and outside school.

What unfolded over the next few weeks of learning more about this phenomenon was a disturbing revelation of how harmful ideologies around masculinity, disseminated over digital ecosystems, penetrated the lives of adolescents, capturing their attention during a critical phase while they were navigating their identities. We came across many discussions where both men and women expressed concern about the growth of this ideology for the past many years. Some men mourned the loss of friendships due to ideological differences, while women voiced increasing distrust and exhaustion when engaging with men who subscribe to these beliefs. People are often seen growing into these ideologies gradually, with early signs manifesting in humour—masked misogyny presented as comedy or sarcasm. Anyone who speaks out against this disguised misogyny is personally attacked rather than countered with logical arguments. For instance, we came across an Instagram reel where a male influencer points out the irony of moral policing men engage in—through a comedic script. The comments were completely divided—between those who fully agreed with him and those who mocked him, accusing him of posting content to pander to women in hopes of personal gain.