DAY I LOST MY PAUL

Husband speaks for first time about star's last moments

- TOM BRYANT

NESTLED in the beautiful Kent countryside, it was a house where laughter used to fill every nook and cranny.

But now the corridors are quiet, and it often seems as if the only sounds are the clocks gently ticking.

Andre Portasio is still not used to the huge chasm left by the death of beloved husband Paul O'Grady.

Only last week, he grew upset as he sorted some of the TV star's clothes into bags for the Salvation Army.

"Suddenly, you start remembering where we were, and what we were doing together," he says.

"It reminded me just how lucky I was to have had him in my life." It's little wonder the emotions are still so close to the surface.

Today marks the first anniversary of Paul's death from sudden cardiac arrhythmia, aged 67, which brought their 18-year love affair to an end.

It is an event still so vivid in Andre's mind, he knew he couldn't bear to be in the same four walls.

"I wanted to be as far away from it as possible in New Zealand," he tells me quietly, a few days before the planned trip.

"I don't want to be anywhere near my kitchen where I found him, and be reminded of what happened" Rather touchingly, he's bringing Paul's passport along with him.

"It will feel like he's coming with me anyway, which is what he would have loved as he couldn't do long-haul flights as he got older," he says.

"But he would have loved New Zealand, and on the day in question, I will remember him quietly in my own way."

This is Andre's first ever interview about their life together.

Gently spoken and kind, you can see why Paul adored him so - and the feeling is mutual.

"I really thought that when we got married it would be forever.

"I just didn't realise that forever would be so shortlived," he says.