Well, that's that then. In the event there were only two notes of jeopardy around Fifa's extraordinary virtual congress to announce the winning mono-bids, the vote without a vote, for the right to host the 2030 and 2034 World Cups. First, exactly how disgusting would this spectacle turn out to be in the flesh? The answer to which, perhaps unsurprisingly, was: extremely disgusting. And second, how would the process actually work?
In the buildup there had been talk of bid approval by "acclamation." A show of applause from the 221 online delegates had been mooted. But why stop at applause? Why not an air raid klaxon, or a silent scream or a howl of despair? Why not the creak of a coffin lid?
Gianni Infantino had appeared on screen some time after 2pm, propped up behind a huge and weirdly swooping illuminated desk that made him look like he was driving around the Fifa studio in an armoured desert speeder. By the time the moment of acclaim arrived almost two hours later he was deep into this thing, hands spread at a vast walnut dais.
Charisma is supposed to attach itself to power. Even Sepp Blatter had a kind of twinkly, Wonka-ish air, coming by the end to physically resemble the World Cup itself, appearing together on stage like twin gleaming golden orbs of power. Infantino is still the same smooth, fish-like figure, with eyes that look strangely flat and painted on. He tends to aim for an evangelical, proselytising, Big Guru energy. It is said that, like Blatter, he genuinely believes he's going to win a Nobel Peace Prize. In practice he still looks like a salesman, albeit one with a very fine tempered-leather suitcase full of death in his hand.
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