As I walked into the house crying, my husband Donal rushed out of the living room to meet me. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, concerned. ‘I’ve just seen myself in a full-length mirror,’ I sobbed. ‘I look… amazing!’ As Donal, now 41, let out a relieved laugh, I beamed at him through my tears. Those were words I never thought I’d say. In fact, for as long as I could remember, I’d hated the way I looked.
Ever since I was 11, I had what people would kindly describe as ‘puppy fat’. I’d use my lunch money to buy crisps and chocolate from the vending machines at school and had to wear skirts with elasticated waists. I also started developing early and by the time I was teenager, I was already wearing a D-cup bra.
When some of my classmates teased me because of my big boobs and chubby tummy, I made a show of how happy I was – and for the most part, I was. I had good friends, a boyfriend, and did well in school. But as the years passed, I became increasingly conscious of my size.
Aged 20 and a size 18, I was working as a receptionist when a male colleague commented, ‘You’re beautiful but you’re fat. You should do something about that.’
His words stung – and stuck with me. I did what I could, buying clothes that suited my fuller figure and having my hair done regularly. Friends would often compliment me. But still, whenever I looked in the mirror, all I saw was a fat, ugly mess.
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Denne historien er fra August 14, 2023-utgaven av WOMAN'S OWN.
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