Big BIRTHDAY

What do you get the man who has everything? Helen had no idea

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Helen was stumped. What on earth should she buy David for his birthday - the Big One? It had to be something really special, and she'd racked her brains to think of an original gift, but her mind was a blank. He didn't smoke, or drink much, and he had a good job with enough spare cash to buy anything he wanted. Oh, why were men so awkward to buy presents for?

She set off round the shops, looking for inspiration. A gold pen? Helen couldn't imagine him ever writing with it. A nice leather wallet? Boring! Something for his computer? She knew nothing about them, and would be sure to buy the wrong thing. An electronic organiser caught her eye, but he probably already had one.

For a couple of hours, Helen trawled the gift shops, bookshops, jewellers and clothing stores, then ended up at a stationer's. At least she could find him a card. No such luck! They were all unsuitable too cutesy, horribly sentimental or downright vulgar.