The Selfcare Lie

The concept has since devolved into the stuffof vapid memes. Writer Devon Abelman searches for its true meaning and ends up finding herself.

- Devon Abelman

Self-care is everywhere and nowhere. It’s the unofficial hashtag of Instagram. But it also lurks in the statistics showing that – despite the meditation, despite the yoga, despite the journaling – we’re increasingly anxious.

Could it be that we’ve gotten self-care completely wrong? Yes. Experts say today’s self-care barely resembles its roots in the civil rights movement: woman of colour needed self-care because they were denied health care.

Now, as a large part of the international wellness business, the current term ‘self-care’ is synonymous with privilege. This new, superficial version has officially become a cliché, says psychologist Dr Juli Fraga. “Because stress and anxiety are far more prevalent, especially for young adults, self-care has made its way into the selfhelp jargon world,” she says. “And that commoditisation is dangerous, as it reinforces the belief that self-care means spending money.”

As a beauty reporter, I thought I was a certified selfcare expert. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I’d turn on my ‘moody’ Spotify playlist, eat a tub of overpriced artisanal ice cream and smooth on a sheet mask. It worked – until I realised that these habits just helped me put off important life tasks. Ultimately, this made me feel even more overwhelmed.