If I Could Turn Back Time

A Lot Of Us Regret Things We’ve Done Or Haven’t Done In The Past, And Experts Say That Can Keep Us From Enjoying The Lives We Do Have. But When Used Right, Regrets Can Actually Be Helpful…

- Trudie Mcconnochie

For the most part, you’re happy with your life, but sometimes when the bills pile up you find yourself wishing you’d accepted that well-paid job offer in another city. And while you love your husband, when the two of you are fighting, you can’t help wondering whether life would have been easier if you’d stayed with that sweet boyfriend you had back in your twenties.

Regrets – we’ve all had a few. According to 2011 research, the most common regrets are around relationships, including lost loves and unfulfilled romances, as well as financial decisions, parenting mistakes, missed educational opportunities and family arguments. Another US study found people tend to regret things they didn’t do more than they regret what they did do – even when it turned out badly.

Trish Everett, a mindset coach who helps people build inner leadership, says it’s the way you use regret that determines whether it keeps you playing the ‘if only’ game seemingly endlessly, or whether it helps you move forward.

“Regret can be very powerful in self-reflection if it’s part of a process of looking at what you want to do differently,” she says. “For example, if someone’s feeling regret that they haven’t spent their time well, that they’ve been too caught up in the busyness and the achieving, and then realising that their marriage is breaking up and they don’t really know their kids, having regret in that place can become an impetus to make changes. Whereas if it comes up and people just stay in that place of regret, it can be really damaging.”

HOW TO RELEASE REGRET

Trish Everett says letting go of regret requires you to look beneath the surface.