'IT TOOK FIVE YEARS TO BEAT MY DEMONS'

Gary Barlow on his struggles following Take That's 1996 split and how reforming the band healed old wounds

Watching his former band mate Robbie Williams conquer the world should have filled Gary Barlow with brotherly pride. Instead, their intense rivalry meant he was consumed by feelings of shame and worthlessness that would rock his mental health for years to come.

Opening up about his three-decade career, Gary, 52, admits that Robbie's exit from Take That, the band's split, and his lacklustre attempt to go solo left him in a vulnerable place in the late 90s.

"I remember thinking, 'Who am I? What do I really think?' I'd lost all identity by that point," he says. "I spent a year blaming myself, a year feeling sorry for myself. There was a shame thing going on with me, which was constantly being reminded by Robbie, who was King of the World at the time."

Robbie's career was going from strength to strength. The Angels singer's albums dominated the charts and he couldn't resist taking a pop at Gary whenever he was given a chance to. "Sorry, Gary, but I was always the talented member of the band," he said as he picked up a Brit Award for Best Song in 2005.

"Every time that happened, it would take me six months to get over another version of him saying something and everyone laughing," Gary says. "So I had some eating disorders along the way. I battered myself." Rebuilding his mental health took years.

"I had to start from scratch. It was a very slow climb back," he tells BBC Two's Reel Stories. "I think in the modern day, a therapist would have undone it in about 12 months, but it took me five years to eventually come out of it with some kind of light."

But today, the Take That boys - Gary, Mark Owen and Howard Donald - can look back at the band's journey with pride and a handful of laughs. Particularly when they revisit the boy band's early days, performing at a school assembly in 1992.