Kit Harington would sometimes look at himself in the mirror with such self-loathing that he'd call himself vitriolic names.
He was at the height of his fame, having earned a huge following for his portrayal of Game of Thrones heart-throb Jon Snow, a role he played from 2011 to 2019, but the happy-go-lucky Brit the world saw walking red carpets and participating in engaging and playful interviews was merely a character he'd created.
Behind closed doors, he was a shell of himself, self-medicating with alcohol.
"I'd hate myself. I would literally despise myself and not be proud of anything I'd done.
I couldn't be proud," he recently admitted to GQ in what is possibly the most revealing interview of his career.
By the time Game of Thrones' final season was being broadcast, Harington was in rehab.
Now, in 2024, he couldn't be further from those days of torment.
"The fact that I am proud of getting sober is in and of itself a mark of being an entirely different person," he shared. "And now, every set I step onto, whatever work I do, I'm proud of, because I know I put everything into it.
Whereas before I had this huge monkey on my back that was just, like, weighing me down. So yeah, the whole nature of being proud of myself is a relatively new prospect for me."
It doesn't mean he's not human - the possibility of relapsing does haunt him.
"I might have one massive, messy, chaotic relapse, and I hope that doesn't happen, but I think I protect myself by talking about it," the 37-year-old explained.
Another way of protecting himself is to surround himself with the best possible support system, which includes his Game of Thrones co-star-turned-wife, Rose Leslie, 37, who he married in 2018. They share two young children.
This story is from the September 02, 2024 edition of WHO.
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This story is from the September 02, 2024 edition of WHO.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
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