LOVE YOUR LINES

STRETCH MARKS, BIRTHMARKS, THEY DO NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE; HOW YOU DEAL WITH THEM DOES. THIS WOMEN'S MONTH, WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO EMBRACE YOUR BODY FULLY AND GIVE IT THE LOVE IT DESERVES

- GAIL ALSWANG

SEARCHING FOR PERFECTION

Society has always maintained certain norms about what defines beauty, but never before have we been as obsessed with physical perfection as we are now. Wanting to improve ourselves is not a bad trait, as it can move us to develop in many areas of our lives. After all, there's nothing wrong with getting fit or taking pride in our appearance. 'It's only when we buy into the myth behind perfection that it becomes a destructive force,' says clinical psychologist Alison Burns. 'If we believe that weighing X or wearing Y will bring about some magical transformation in our lives, we are headed for disappointment.' As a result, we often find ourselves feeling like an 'other', emotionally isolated and even depressed by something as natural as stretch marks. So if the only way we can attain happiness is to be physically perfect, the signs that mark our progress through life become overwhelmingly large. This perpetuates self-hate, which, while not produced by the media, is often exacerbated by it.

THE BLAME GAME

However, Alison points out that our self-esteem is actually shaped and distorted long before acne, stretch marks or the flawless portraits of well-known faces in the press appear to us. 'It's largely formed before we are six years old. Our parents' attitudes towards us and the family structure are the main sources of our opinion of ourselves.' She continues: 'We need to teach our daughters differently.