From recluse to SOCIAL BUTTERFLY

Eating to numb her feelings left Clare Wordley, 48, more miserable than ever

- JULIA SIDWELL

It’s true what they say, sometimes you really do have to hit rock bottom before you’re ready to change. My lowest point had been a long time coming before it hit in 2019. That year I unsuccessfully tried to end my life several times. Everyone, especially my kids, was beside themselves with worry and I hated what I was doing to them. But rock bottom brought with it a single moment of clarity, and I haven’t looked back since.

My 16-year marriage ended in 2012 when I was 36, and after, life got on top of me. My GP prescribed antidepressants, but my anxiety only got worse. Food became a source of comfort and, after leaving work at a beauty salon, I’d swing by the McDonald’s Drive Thru before devouring a double chicken cheeseburger on the way home. There, I’d collapse on the sofa with a Big Tasty burger, before tucking into a mountain of fudge, crisps and chocolate.

Crushed by guilt

Eating numbed my feelings, until I finished stuffing myself and felt even more miserable. The fun, sociable woman I once was disappeared, my size 12 clothes became size 28, and by 2018 I barely recognised myself. My four children, Connor, 30, Jessica, 29, Zion, 21, and Rita, 20, knew I was sad. Guilt crushed me when I thought about how my moods affected them. Yet with each day, it became harder to leave the house.