Irreconcilable Differences?

You’re one-upping your partner on all health fronts and now your relationship has more tension than your new resistance bands. Here’s how to get over the hurdle of mismatched goals.

- KRISTIN CANNING

You order a salad at the sports bar with your partner; they order a cheeseburger. You’ve recently sworn off fried foods, but they get a side of onion rings anyway. “Just have one,” they tell you. Thirteen rings later, you’re stuffed with grease and guilt. And them? They’re as happy as can be.

It’s not uncommon to feel your S.O. is ignoring your health ambitions or giving you grief about them. “I’ve seen plenty of couples go through this,” says psychologist Dr Chloe Carmichael. “When you’re in a relationship, you start to function as a unit and if you suddenly change the dynamic, your partner can feel a little abandoned.” This is especially true if you both used to be meh about working out and eating well. The mismatch can prompt a ripple effect of discontent: a 2018 survey found that people who tried to clean up their eating, independent of their mate, were less satisfied in their relationship than those who teamed up with their partner on the diet front.

Research also shows that wellness shifts in one half of a duo can cause a rift that potentially ruptures the relationship. In fact, married people who had bariatric weight-loss surgery were 41 percent (!) more likely to divorce than the general population, per one Swedish study.