Earlier this year, Cherry Healey invited her Instagram followers to share their stories about dating in their forties. She didn't really know what to expect in response, but it turned out to be a subject that struck quite a chord.
The hundreds of replies she received from women - all navigating the complexities of looking for love at 40-plus - were thoughtful, witty, wise and heart-achingly honest, which confirmed to Healey, 42, something she already knew.
'Women in their 40s and 50s are just amazing, and truly magical,' she says. 'I learned so much from their responses, and I'm endlessly honoured that people take the time to write to me.
'I love being in my 40s; it's my favourite decade so far, by such a long way. I feel like I'm at the top of the mountain, and because I've had enough life to see how my actions have played out, I have wisdom based on experience. Not from an Instagram meme or something I've read in a book, but actual lived experience, which is always the most powerful.
'I can look back on those decades and really start to know who I am, yet I still have a big chunk of life ahead of me and, within reason, I can decide on how the rest of it is going to be. It's very empowering when you realise how much control you have on what's going on around you.'
Nevertheless, dating can be a minefield, especially if you've been out of the loop for some time and are returning to a game you no longer recognise. Hence that social media post. Recently single Healey is getting to grips with it all over again herself, after her six-year relationship with advertising executive Carl Kisseih ended last year.
Helpfully, one of the by-products of the lived experience she refers to is a 'razor sharp' intuition, and Healey doesn't bother wasting any time with anyone she reckons is going to give her the runaround. She also works hard to protect herself from the brutality' of modern-day dating.
This story is from the April 2023 edition of Psychologies UK.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the April 2023 edition of Psychologies UK.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Why Are We So Sensitive About Being Sensitive? - Feeling empathy, energy and emotion keenly is not a failing - it can be your strength and your superpower, discovers Yasmina Floyer
All of us are sensitive - it is the very nature of being human. However, as with most behavioural characteristics, it exists on a scale. Jenn Granneman, founder of the world's largest community for introverts and co-author, along with Andre Sólo, of Sensitive (Penguin, £10.99), tells me about the characteristics of someone who is highly sensitive: 'Simply put, if you're a highly sensitive person, your body and mind respond more to the world around you. You respond more to heartbreak, pain, and loss - but you also respond more to beauty, new ideas, and joy. You're more affected by everything around you, but you also draw more from these experiences.
Try a Little Kindfulness - Make kindness a conscious practice and infuse your life with everyday abundance, writes Dr David Hamilton
The more we care about others, the more we realise that most people are just like us - trying to figure things out and hoping for a good day. It's easier to fear what you don't know, but once you get to know people, the world seems a lot smaller and cosier. So next time you're tempted to scroll past someone's problem, dismiss someone's feelings, or just be in your own little bubble, remember: the world's a better place when we all give a little f*ck. Let's sprinkle that stuff everywhere like it's magical kindness glitter!
There's No Excuse to Slow Down! - Presenter, podcaster and author Gabby Logan talks to Psychologies about health, happiness, and overcoming hurdles in midlife...
Presenter, podcaster and author Gabby Logan talks to Psychologies about health, happiness, and overcoming hurdles in midlife...When TV presenter Gabby Logan started to experience brain fog in her late 40s, struggling to recall the correct word or name on live TV, she initially put it down to tiredness. 'I couldn't quite get that name or articulate in the way I had previously been able to, so I was concerned, but it coincided with lockdown and not doing any telly for a while. I remember feeling quite nervous going back to live TV.' But the former international gymnast soon realised that it was a symptom of perimenopause and promptly went onto HRT, which she says has balanced her hormones.
Kindle your creativity
Increase your sense of connection and support your self-expression, urges Caroline Butterwick
Fast and filling!
Join the high-protein revolution and eat better everyday, with these full-of-flavour recipes from nutritionist Scott Baptie's new cookbook
What's your optimum?
Eating well can cure what ails us, so why is it so hard? Anna Blewett discovers the secrets to a more resolved relationship with food...
"FRIENDSHIP DELIVERED SO MUCH OF WHAT ROMANTIC LOVE HAD PROMISED"
Author Marianne Power talks to Psychologies about self-love and the sisterhood...
Summer break or make!
Hello, lovers! September is here, and the lazy holiday season is behind us. And for many-me included - now feels like the perfect opportunity for a personal kick up the backside, and to embark on a relationship reset. In my work, it's typically women who take the first steps accessing couples' help, but recently (and encouragingly) I've noticed an uptick in men reaching out to get relationship advice and wanting to put the work in.
Time to spread their wings
As the seasons shift and shudder, threatening rhythm and routine, Heidi Scrimgeour embraces September in all its bittersweetness...
Big wild world
Caro Giles fills up her cup with summer colour and awaits autumn wonder...
