Let happiness in

Remember, there is a dark side to happiness, too. It's an idea that's sure to resonate if you're in a season where happiness feels elusive or just beyond your reach...

'The pressure to be happy can make suffering even lonelier,' points out psychotherapist Charlotte Fox Weber. When my dad died unexpectedly, I found myself plunged into an all-consuming experience of grief. It felt like waking up in a world where I didn't speak the language. Friends initially encouraged my efforts to process what I was feeling via unfiltered posts on social media, but I quickly worried that I was becoming a grief bore. Then, as people stopped asking how I was, and no longer referenced my dad in conversation, I sensed that people were expecting me to be 'over it'. The pressure - even if only in my mind - to present myself as happy again added a deep layer of isolation to raw grief.

'That said, it's important to allow for happiness; to let in the sunshine,' adds Fox Weber, who describes happiness as the 'feeling of congruence' in our lives, in our values, and in how we spend our time. 'If you value friendship and meaningful work, for instance, and you feel connected with your friends and engaged with your work, that's happiness. If you value family and eating well, and you're close with your family and immersed in food experiences, then that's happiness."