IN 2008, Shawn Rouse and his wife, Amanda, found out they were expecting a child. The couple, who live in Quispamsis, a suburb of Saint John, New Brunswick, couldn't decide on a name. They pored through books in search of ideas, but nothing stuck. "We must have discussed 100 options," says Rouse. After months of intense debate, they finally settled on what they thought was a winning name for the baby girl they were expecting. It didn't occur to either of them that, one day, their child might have thoughts of their own on the matter.
Nine years later, puberty hit hard. Their child had long seemed uneasy as a girl, but the discomfort was suddenly all-encompassing. "Each physical change came with depression and terror," says Rouse. The kid would only wear baggy clothes, eager to hide every curve. When their child came out to the family-first at age 10 as nonbinary, then months later as a trans male-the family had confirmation of what they'd suspected. A year later, in 2021, their child came home with a test for his parents to sign. The name at the top, Levi Rouse, was unfamiliar. "I asked him, 'Who's Levi?"" says Rouse. "He said, "That's what I go by now.""
Rouse was surprised. The name he and Andrea had worked so hard to find had been summarily cast aside. He couldn't help but feel as if Levi, only 12 years old, had left him out of a huge life decision. He had also kept the name change secret.
In time, Rouse came to understand Levi's secrecy not as insubordination or fear, but as prudence. He hadn't wanted to burden his parents with a half-baked decision, so he'd tested it out in a social context first. "Once you come out to your family, you make the choice official," Rouse says. "You want to ensure you get things right. Young people need a zone of privacy to figure themselves out."
This story is from the October 2024 edition of Maclean's.
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This story is from the October 2024 edition of Maclean's.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
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