Virtual Wisdom

The challenges of receiving and giving advice in the digital age.

- Lasya Shashimohan

Lately, I had been discussing my PMDD (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder) woes on a common post on Facebook with a group of women aged 35+. While I was publicly ranting about the bloating, stomach cramps, and endless food cravings, my audience was aptly empathetic. "Oh PMDD. That can easily be managed with regular exercise and by reducing stress."

The advice, meted out casually, had come from a young man in his mid-20s, currently pursuing his MBA. Before you conclude the obvious and dismiss my friend as a creep, may I clarify that he is a very refined guy with a genuine interest in art, nature, and the history of ancient buildings. It's just that someone relatively wet-behind-the-ears coolly advising me on a condition that causes monstrous upheaval in me every month was a bit too much to digest.

In another instance, a friend of mine created a vintage look for her social media story with her ensemble completed with a traditional silk saree, a long-sleeved blouse, and an elaborate coiffure. "You look like something straight out of a Raja Ravi Varma painting," a mutual friend of ours complimented her. "However, you would have nailed the look had you applied winged eyeliner instead of normal."

The epiphany had come from a middle-aged gentleman in businesslike clothes, glasses, and typical office-goer's shoes. All he was missing in his display picture was a briefcase! Yet this staid and sober-looking man had considerable knowledge of eye makeup while I didn't.

During the Ambani wedding, the internet was afloat with pictures of Jaya Bachchan's attention-drawing neckpiece. Snarky comments, dripping with hate and sarcasm, flooded the internet. "Why is she wearing armor? Is she going to war?" "Obnoxious neckpiece. Also, no smile on her face." The old and the young, the "employed" and the unemployed, were content to fritter away the entire day discussing the dress and deportment of a person they didn't know personally.