‘I found out my hubby was cheating at Christmas'

When Adaeze Chiwoko, 40, discovered husband Joseph was having an affair she kicked him out. But it was the making of her marriage

- KATE GRAHAM

'Phone in hand, I read the text messages that made my heart stop. There was the undeniable proof the man I loved was cheating on me.

Fury rising, I turned on him, ordering my husband of four years out of the house and out of my life forever. As the door slammed, I fell to the floor sobbing. My world was shattered. I had no idea this would be the moment that changed our marriage for the better.

I met Joseph in a club in Manchester in September 2001. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but he was different. He was quiet and shy, a real gentleman, and we happily dated for four years. He made me feel like the only woman in the world.

In summer 2005 I became pregnant. We were shocked but loved each other and had talked about marriage, so decided to tie the knot in a big African wedding that October.

As I walked down the aisle and Joseph saw me, he began to cry. Saying our vows – for better, for worse, until death do us part – were so important to both of us. These promises were ones we intended to keep.

But life isn’t always that easy. Our son Joshua was born just five months later, and our new family life was far from a fairy tale.

We had good moments, times when we’d take long drives in the countryside, all three of us, happy together. But there were many arguments. Working as a bouncer, Joseph was always out, and even when he was home, we weren’t really connecting. I felt angry and frustrated.

‘You’re useless,” I’d shout, when it seemed like he was never around. “You’re crazy,” he’d yell back, not understanding.