Who's Coming To Your Child's Birthday Party?

Like most kids, I believed birthdays were about cake, ice cream and presents.

- Whitney Mcdonald

At least that’s what I thought I remembered. Somehow I forgot about not being invited to the “really cool” kids’ parties, the struggles over whom to invite or not (my mom always insisted I invite some weird kid none of us liked), and whether the cool kids would come to my party.

All of that and more came back to me in my years as a teacher as I witnessed children and families go through the yearly machinations of the birthday dance. I watched as parties became “events,” with destinations or themes for some families, and simple get-togethers for others.

I vividly remember the year when one family planned a big party for their son and none of the 20 children who were invited came. He was a kid who had poor social skills and his parents thought the party could bring him into the social realm. It didn’t, and it was painful.

So what have I learned over the years? Birthdays are stressful. Need they be?