How To Own Your Sexuality In Bed!

Being confident between the sheets can be exciting, terrifying, and intimidating all at once. Charlene Flanagan talks to experts to help you break out of your shell

- Charlene Flanagan

Having sex with someone—long term or otherwise— exposes you in an intimate and vulnerable way. It’s not only the closest you can physically be with a person, it also opens you up to what most people today refer to as ‘catching the feels’. However, there’s one underlying factor—whether juggling the ‘what-ifs’ or ‘maybes’, most women grapple with self-esteem issues, and being confident in their own skin. But does taking charge of your sexual desires boil down to just your physical appearance? Let’s break it down:

Body image

Getting naked in front of your partner, whether it’s the first time or not, is about state of mind. A large number of women struggle with body image issues. There’s also a section that is under the impression that communicating their sexual wants might have them viewed in a negative light. This, in turn, leads to ineffective communication (or a lack, thereof), resulting in an unsatisfactory experience in bed. According to Mumbai-based counsellor and clinical psychologist, Nandita Sarma, “For many women, their lack of confidence makes them incapable of communicating their likes, dislikes, or even comfort levels to their partners, who invariably remain unaware of their feelings. It’s almost like the woman is surrounded by this bubble of silence.”

Moreover, social media, films, the internet, and even pornography, have set unrealistic standards of beauty, fitness, and sexual prowess. Add to that numerous filters and photo editing apps, and the already-blurred lines have altogether disappeared. Thus, it is hardly a surprise that women constantly find themselves wondering if they look good enough. The key here is to relax, and shut out the noise.