Something To Lean On

A surprising gift helped my son cope when he lost his special friend

- Lisa Fields

MY SON AND DAUGHTER had barely heard of their cousins Marcia and Julius before we moved to their hometown two years ago. Because we’d just become neighbors, I thought that my children should get to know them, so I invited the cousins over for a meet-and-greet one afternoon.

When the doorbell rang, my kids rushed to the door, thrilled at the prospect of having more relatives. In came Marcia, a chatty, retired schoolteacher in her 70s. Shuffling in slowly behind her, relying heavily on his cane, was her octogenarian husband, Julius—Juli for short. He wore a heavy cardigan sweater despite the mild weather, a baseball cap crammed down over a shock of white hair and a slight scowl. I hadn’t seen Juli since I’d become a mom, so I’d never wondered before whether or not he was kid-friendly. With one glance, I quickly decided that he probably wasn’t.

After the introductions, my kids ran off and played together in the basement. A few minutes later, without warning, they barreled into the room where Marcia, Juli and I were sitting, curious about the cousins. My son Ben, who was 4 at the time, eyed Juli’s cane, which stood erect on its four footed base. Then came the question.

“Why do you have a cane?” Ben wanted to know.

Juli hadn’t expected my son to address him, and he hadn’t heard the question. He looked to me for help. “What? What does he want to know?” Juli demanded of me gruffly.