POSITIVELY TOXIC

Always looking on the bright side of life? Stop it! A new book explains why it’s sometimes better to moan, complain and be negative

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YOU’RE having a truly awful day: your boss just yelled at you, there’s talk of retrenchments, you’re worried about a sick relative – and now as you stand in an elevator, a complete stranger tells you to “cheer up”.

You feel like giving him a piece of your mind but instead decide to vent on social media. Surely your friends will understand? But when you open up your Facebook feed, it’s just wall-to-wall inspiration, with people sharing platitudes such as “Tears are for losers” and “When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life a thousand reasons to smile!”

Smile, be grateful, be happy – around every turn we’re told to ignore the negative and focus only on the positive. But this advice, although well-intentioned, isn’t always helpful – in fact, in some cases it can actually be bad for your mental health.

In a new book, Toxic Positivity, American psychotherapist Whitney Goodman explains why.

WHAT’S TOXIC POSITIVITY?

When people hear the term toxic positivity, they often think I’m implying we should be negative all the time. That’s totally not what this is about. It’s about balance. Being human means making space for the positive, the negative and everything in between.

Sometimes the glass isn’t half full – it really is one sip away from empty – and yet toxic positivity demands you see the good in every situation. No matter how bad life is, you’re expected to slap on a happy face and soldier on.

Struggles are presented as “opportunities”, grief as “love with nowhere to go” and weaknesses as “emerging strengths”.