For decades, mankind has feared the day technology becomes cleverer than us. Now it’s here, and we were too busy trying to sync our Sonos to notice. Welcome to The Big Techover...
Every morning for the past few weeks, I have woken up sweating. I’ve woken up sweating because the radiator next to my bed has been on for an hour, turning the room into a kind of DIY Bikram-yoga studio.
The reason I have carried on waking up sweating is that I am too scared to go near and upset the balance of our app-controlled heating system, which is more sensitive than the proverbial snowflake. I can’t work out how to change it without plunging the whole flat into microclimatic chaos. What if I somehow offend the app? What if the app turns against us?
At first we loved the app. We felt so powerful. “THIS IS THE FUTURE,” we squealed all winter, whacking the thermostat up from the comfort of the pub. But now, months later, the app has the power and I have to sleep with one leg out of the duvet. “This is the future,” we whimper, chugging water as soon as the alarm goes off. “This is how we must live now.”
You live like this as well, right? You have a fitness tracker under the bed, banished, because you can’t get it to sync with your other devices. A smoke alarm that lives in the freezer because it won’t stop bleeping. You’ve had meetings on the floor of a work corridor because nobody can unlock the flashy “agile” meeting room. You’ve held up a queue at a ticket barrier because you’re determined to pay with your Apple Watch. Right? Right.
“Why don’t you just call the helpline?” an alien or an idiot might ask. But the helpline is automated too, and our account number is in an old inbox we’re now locked out of. I don’t want to sound melodramatic, but is… is this how the apocalypse starts?
Bu hikaye Cosmopolitan UK dergisinin April 2019 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Giriş Yap
Bu hikaye Cosmopolitan UK dergisinin April 2019 sayısından alınmıştır.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Giriş Yap
‘Is Three Relationships Too Many?'
With his girlfriend out of town, Jack’s* wife suggests he finds a third partner
Brave New Beauty
Is tech about to revolutionise your skincare regime and transport you into a whole new universe of beautification? Joanna Taylor isn’t always convinced…
How The Gig Economy Is Killing Millennials…
I put in 18-hour days. I work in the same room I sleep in. I never know when or if I’ll be paid. I go days without speaking to anyone.
Could Your #AvoOnToast Get You Headhunted?
Quite possibly. But you’ll have to catch the eye of a new breed of talent scout first. Here’s how…
The Robot Wars
For decades, mankind has feared the day technology becomes cleverer than us. Now it’s here, and we were too busy trying to sync our Sonos to notice. Welcome to The Big Techover...
Hot-Air Health Myths... Exploded
Think you’re up to date with the basic rules of staying in shape? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you probably aren’t…
The Darkside Of BodyBuilding
Amateur fitness competitions have gone mainstream – but do they provide a “healthy” cover for those hiding deadly eating disorders? Former competitor Rebecca Barnes, 22, certainly thinks so.
The Stacy Dooley Effect
From the frontline to the dancefloor, Stacey Dooley defied all the odds to become TV’s golden girl. But it could have worked out very differently
Kings Of The Night
Sex, champagne and parties on tap… what could possibly go wrong? BOBBY PALMER spends the night with the most successful club promoter in London
Is Beauty A Tickıng Timebomb?
With their legions of fans, beauty-brand founders have exploded onto the scene – sometimes becoming celebrities in their own right. But what happens when their behaviour eclipses their products? Laura Capon investigates
