Talking To Strangers

Since the early 1900s, an Agony Aunt has been a willing ear. But at a time of DMs and askme-anythings, seeking advice from someone you don’t know has become risky business

- Alexandra English

In 1929, it was reported that the American advice columnist Elizabeth Gilmer was earning more than the President of the United States. Gilmer – or Dorothy Dix as she was known to her legion of disciples – had not only managed to convince people to let her air their dirty laundry in print, but also managed to spin their secrets into gold throughout the worst years of the Great Depression.

Nearly 100 years later, not only has the idea of sourcing advice from a stranger not gone away, but the agony aunt has grown and morphed into a strange beast that has torn herself from the pages of teenage-girl magazines and found strength online. It’s so deliciously voyeuristic to read about the spectrum of human problems that online publications, forums, podcasts, videos and Instagram feeds have become treasure troves of people seeking out and dishing out advice for the most insane, outrageous, sad or relatable problems you’ve ever heard.

But the thing is, finding the right person to ask has become a problem in itself. When we wrote into a magazine’s advice column, we knew that person had put themselves in a position where they wanted to be asked, and we understood whether or not they were qualified to answer certain types of questions. Sliding into an influencer’s DMs to ask for their help is risky business. Not only are qualifications fuzzy (there’s a difference between a nutritionist and a dietitian, or a coach and a therapist), but why are we so sure they want to be bombarded with our problems in the first place?