DEATH BY DOWRY
Marie Claire Australia|July 2022
A centuries-old wedding custom has given rise to a dangerous form of abuse afflicting South Asian women in Australia. Psychiatrist and professor Manjula Datta O'Connor reports, on the growing crisis, and her campaign to end it
Manjula Datta O'Connor
DEATH BY DOWRY

In 2007, 25-year-old physiotherapist Deepshikha Godara married IT professional Sunil Beniwal, 29, in an arranged but seemingly happy union. The couple emigrated from New Delhi, India, to Melbourne to start their new life together, and had a baby in 2011. Yet secretly, Godara was suffering. She told friends and family back home that her husband was mentally and physically torturing her, and she called the police on numerous occasions. Eventually, she took out a two-year intervention order against Beniwal and re-partnered. But in December 2014, just days after the intervention order expired, Godara was found dead - strangled and stabbed in the neck by her estranged husband. Later that night, he killed himself in a road crash.

The coronial inquest into Godara's death revealed that "the initial discord within the marriage was the result of [Beniwal's] family's demands for additional dowry". As per traditional dowry practice, Godara's family had gifted her husband gold, diamond necklaces, and money to mark their nuptials, but within a year of the marriage, he was pressuring Godara for more. When she didn't meet his demands, he became enraged and abusive, until the consequences were fatal.

Dowry is a centuries-old tradition in South Asia that sees a bride's family pay the groom and his family cash, clothes, cars, and property at the time of marriage. Large sums are often handed over. In Australia, the amount typically sits between $25,000 to $50,000, including bearing the cost of an extravagant wedding ceremony.

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