The Sex Talk

Can you talk to your child about sex? If not, why not? CHRIS HART unpacks the ways parents can deal with this very important topic without blushing.

- Chris Hart

If there’s one thing that parents dread, it’s the thought of talking about sex with their children, from that first innocent question about where babies come from, all the way through to teen issues. Many parents try to duck the subject completely, arguing that their children will find out everything at school or from their friends anyway.

Children also worry about asking their parents questions, assuming that they’ll wildly over-react. So there are lots of kids who never talk to their parents about sex at all, starting a pattern that continues throughout their lives. Because children who can’t talk to their parents about sex, rarely talk about it with their sexual partners either. And that will seriously reduce the quality of their intimacy together.

THERE ARE BENEFITS TO TALKING ABOUT SEX 

There are pressure groups who argue against sex education, claiming that parents should simply insist on abstinence before marriage. So parents understandably worry that discussing sex with their children will encourage promiscuity.

But there’s clear evidence that promoting abstinence is completely ineffective, while good sex education is very helpful. And that the best sex education is a conversation between parent and child. Because when children can talk comfortably to their parents about sex, they tend to have their first sexual experiences later, to use contraceptives, have less pre-marital sex and fewer partners. You won’t need to give them lots of technical information. It’s just having the conversation that counts, especially ones that include your values and opinions.

START TALKING ABOUT SEX EARLY