Why I Cheat...
Men's Health South Africa|December 2018

Eight Years Into Her Marriage, Sarah Used Online Dating Service Ashley Madison To Find A Man To Have Sex With. Her Story Of Desire And Betrayal Is A Wake-Up Call To All Guys: Are You Giving Your Wife What She Craves?

Laura Ongaro
Why I Cheat...

Sarah phoned the Men’s Health office at the allotted hour. According to our go-between, she was in her early 30s and married with young children. She’d also been active on the site for a few months. A little reticent at first, Sarah soon relaxed, though the whines and squawks of a fractious toddler were a constant soundtrack to her tale. Here’s what she told us.

“I was 17 when I met the man who would become my husband. He was 19, and when you’re a teenager a two-year age gap is significant. Truthfully, we were both pretty clueless about the world, and sexually inexperienced, but it was thrilling to be going out with an older guy.

I married him when I was 24. Like all brides, I guess, I assumed I’d never sleep with another man. But five years later I was – what’s the word? – restless, I suppose.

What went wrong? Nothing really. Nothing earth-shattering. Just a realisation that we were different people. My husband’s a homebody. He’s happy spending one Saturday night after another on the couch in front of the rugby or a movie. But while I would sit there with him trying not to complain, the fact is I was bored. I wanted to go out and have fun, to socialise with friends, drink and dance a little, meet new people. Lights out by 10pm every Saturday night wasn’t my idea of an exciting life.

I was also feeling neglected. Don’t get me wrong: my husband isn’t a mean person at all and we still get on. But I often have the sense when we’re together that he wouldn’t care much whether I was there or not. I needed more attention. I needed to feel appreciated – and, yes, wanted. I missed being seduced. I missed the feeling of being desired, of having lustful eyes wandering over my body.

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